Outrage over social injustice

Let’s talk procrastination! Unfortunately, I know it very well, but I’ve vowed as one of my new year resolutions that I’m going to do better. So, this first month of 2020 I’ve stuck to my goal. I’m writing scripts and I’m taking those leaps of faith that I’ve been so scared to acknowledge. This is going to be my year to blossom, I can feel it in my bones. I’ll be the big 3-0 this year and I don’t have time for any little girl behavior. 

For so long I’ve suffered with depression and anxiety, I used them as a crutch to hold myself back. I’d say things like, maybe one day I’ll get to it. I even lost my vision of where I wanted to go with my life. I always found myself holding off and using that excuse, “one day, just not today.” Enough is enough, it was time to seek professional help; I went to see a therapist and man is she refreshing and helpful. Am I ashamed? Of what? I’m never ashamed to admit I have a mental illness and I’m seeking treatment. Wouldn’t you go to the doctor if you were coughing up blood? Mental illness is just as important as physical illness!

So, I would like for everyone reading this to do me two favors. Please don’t procrastinate and if you suffer from any type of mental illness, speak with a licensed professional. Let’s make this new year and the beginning of a new decade a good one.

Let’s talk soon!

I love each and everyone of you!  

So here I am sitting at work thinking. We gotta stop letting other people make decisions for us; oh, that’s just me? Yeah I think I care too much about what other people might say about things that I do.   

I will legit change my whole outfit if I feel it would offend someone. Why am I like this? I’d rather satisfy others than my own self. This occurred to me while I was helping a friend out with getting her business together; meanwhile, here I am sitting on stacks of stories and books I need to finish.   

I guess I was born to be a pleaser for others. I put others first and myself last. I’m trying to change this habit, because I don’t like the road I’m going down.  

Anyways, that’s all for my Ted Talk today LOL.

Good Early morning to everyone, I just stopped by because it feels like it has been a century since we talked.  

Well, today I’m starting the day off really good and I have already claimed that it is going to be a great day. See I completely gave up on writing, hence, the lack of stories being posted in the Writer’s Corner; however, I read a very interesting article today that just gave me life and well I’m putting that energy back out into the world.  

I love y’all for real (in my Monique voice).

What’s your new year’s resolution? Well with only two days left in 2018 I’m still compiling my list of things I want to change about myself, but here’s a list of my top 5 I have so far:

1. Spend less time on social media and spend more time writing content. I have such a difficult time putting the phone down sometimes; I get so caught up in everybody else’s life that I forget to live my own.

2. Discipline. I don’t have it, periodt. 

3. Whip into shape. It’s no secret that I have body conscious issues; I can’t keep using the “baby weight” excuse, my child is practically a teenager now. So, I’m joining a gym and changing my eating habits.

4. Date! Yup, I will no longer be a hermit everyone. I am forcing myself to date, even if that means making the first move. 

5. Plan and execute. I am so sick of telling myself, “I’m going to do it tomorrow,” and tomorrow never comes. I put off so much stuff I’m ashamed of myself.  

I have so many more on my list and I wonder if I will accomplish them all before the end of the year. Well, wish me luck everyone. What’s your new year’s resolution? Email me and share yours with me.  

Well you guys, it’s been a while, but I’m back now and I’m ready to conquer the world. See, I took some time to find myself and to well, take care of myself, you know self-care.  

This part of the year sucks for me, unfortunately I have to relive the trauma of losing both my parents around this time. It’s not something I want to do, but it’s something my mind is accustomed to never forgetting. 

So, in light of all the downs, I’ve had a couple of ups too. I’ve been writing! “Well duh Ashley you’re a writer.” I know, I know, but I get really excited when I write. I’ve also taken some time to find myself and understand what exactly it is I want for my future. 

Yup, I’ve been giving myself pep talks every day.  Okay with all that being said, y’all stay tuned. Big things are coming soon.

Ummm that’s not how it works. Depression isn’t like a light switch you can cut on and off, it’s a little more complicated than that; like do you really think people want to be walking around being depressed all the time…wait, no don’t answer that; I mean you do have those who are attention seekers, but trust me depression is nothing to play around with.   

Oh and another thing, just because a person suffers from depression doesn’t mean they walk around 24/7 with their head down and moping around. You have your good days and your bad days; your outer appearance could seem happy and joyful, but you feel like you’re dying on the inside. I suffer from depression and I know from experience.   

I guess my point for this post is for those who think that depression is controllable, it’s not!

Friends. Are they beneficial or damaging? I’m 28-years-old and I have a hard time identifying my real friends; I only know of a few who meet my definition. I know I haven’t been a very good one myself; I can name several mistakes I’ve made.  

Sometimes I think about some of the friends I’ve lost over the years, and I really can’t say that they made me feel better about myself or made me happy. There was a lot of using each other for various needs such as baby sitting or help with a certain need, but there was no actual enjoyment with any of them.  

What does it mean to be a real friend? My definition includes someone who is there to pick you up when you’re down; someone who knows your flaws, but doesn’t hold them against you; someone who doesn’t make jokes of your imperfections; someone who doesn’t go tit for tat with you; someone who offers their time when you just need comforting; someone who defends you when you’re not around; somebody who can make you laugh at just about anything. 

Maybe I’m asking for too much y’all.

Alright y'all, I have a problem. So, I've discovered that I'm really shy when it comes to talking to men. Like I get really tongue tied and butterflies start to twirl in my belly at the thought of even saying hi to a cutie.

Okay, so this is what happened. I was at work minding my good ol business and in comes the EMTs with a patinet transfer. This man paramedic was fine y'all, like really yummy (yes I said yummy, don't judge me.) So anyways, he's sitting there joking with me about his day and we're talking; don't ask me if he was flirting because I couldn't tell you. 

Anywho, I step away to grab something for the patient and I call one of my coworker like, "this transporter dude is really cute." and after he left I mentioned him to one of the male nurses I was working with and he asked if I got his number, and my ding-dong butt was like, "no." 

Bro I swear I wanted to smack myself in the face, Like WTF Ashley? l clearly need to put myself out there more. I'm so open to any suggestions pertaining to flirtng and all that jazz. SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!

Social media has become bigger than ever before. It's become our high school reunions, our source of news and gossip, and even how we keep up with the latest fashions and trends. 

Although these things can be great, it also comes with a lot of grief and stress. Social media has become a place where people can hide behind their phones, computers or tablets and talk crap; we refer to them as internet trolls.

In my opinion, social media has become a replacement for humanity. It seems like this generation is obsessed with the number of "likes" and "shares" or "followers" they can obtain. 

This past week, a handful of young people have lost their lives, and I have witnessed more videos of the incident than people actually helping. People are literally standing around recording someone die instead of stepping in to help or call emergency services. 

Then I read the comments, and that's where the trolls come in. Some users have bashed the victims saying, "he deserved it" or "I really don't care, he wasn't a good person anyways." Is this really where we are? The value on life is so little. 

Social media has created a facade, a make-believe life that so many people believe is true. People get so caught up in it that they forget how to actually live. Recently, I've been spending a lot of time on Instagram and I've seen so many young people trying to live the lifestyle, but what they don't realize is they're chasing a ghost's reality. It's not real! 

There has to be a solution to this madness, there just has to be.

Alright, let’s talk about the elephant in the room, you know that feeling when you’re overwhelmed and you just can’t seem to get a handle on anything; that’s our good ol friend, anxiety.  

Sometimes when I’m at work I have so many things to get done, and the list keeps growing, so much that my brain is having its own personal traffic jam. What the heck is going on up there? Before I know it, my heart is racing, like literally beating as fast as the roadrunners legs from the Looney Tunes. My body is shaking, my breathing is off and I want to scream and rip my hair out. 

Nobody understands what I’m going through unless I explain it to them, and come on let’s be real, I don’t want people looking at me like I’m weird. The truth is, mental health is real, and millions of Americans suffer from the disorder.  

What do I do to get through my anxiety attacks? Sometimes it honestly feels like it last for days; I’m constantly stressing and worrying, and it seems like it will never go away. I try to go to a quiet place, and breathe; regulating your breathing is important, or at least that’s what I feel helps calm me down. I try to think about positive things, and sometimes I simply talk to my daughter (her stories are hilarious). Finding someone to listen while you talk it out can help as well, or simply finding a distraction, like music or a good movie can ease the tension.   

When a person says they need a mental health break, please do not criticize them and say they are being lazy or dramatic. It takes a lot to keep going when your mind is telling you to quit. Sometimes, a kind word, or just knowing someone is there by your side supporting you makes a big difference. 

Mental health is so much more than just anxiety attacks, there’s a long and complex list of mental disorders. To name a few, Bipolar disorder, Depression, Schizophrenia, Post-traumatic Stress Syndrome, and Autism are all considered mental disorders. 

Remember to take into consideration what others might be going through before you choose to judge them. Try to put yourself in their shoes, and think about how you would like to be perceived. As my mom used to say, treat others the way you would like to be treated.

Last weekend people around the country celebrated Mother's Day. The day was bittersweet for me though, seeing as I've been without my mother for eighteen years; that's her to the right by the way, her name was Linda.

I tried to focus on celebrating the day with Jizelle instead, but the void of not having my mom around was inevitable. Losing a parent is tough, and sadly to say, the pain never goes away. 

I think it was extra tough for me this year because just the day prior to Mother's Day, I seen pictures of proud moms celebrating their children's accomplishments for completing school and going to prom all over social media, and I thought about how just six months prior I walked the stage and neither of my parents were there rooting for me, and bragging about all of my hard work. 

"Cry me a river." I'm sure some are saying, but until you've lost a parent you have no room to speak. Even if your parent is alive, but you don't have the best relationship, there is still room for change and growth; nothing will change about death. 

How I got through the day? Well, I focused on the positives. I thought about the little girl who calls me mom. I thought about how she needs me just as much as I needed my mom. I thought about all the good things I have going for myself, and I thought about the path that has been paved for me, thanks to my parents.

Remember to love and cherish your parents while they're here; kiss them and hug them as much as possible.

Ashley

Ever since I was a teenager I've been told I was fat, or on the heavier side. I allowed the words and opinions of others to define me. The men I trusted the most from my own dad to the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with made comments about my body regularly. 

Once I had my daughter, my weight shot up; I thought after you had the kid you were supposed to lose the weight. I was severely depressed and eating everything in eye sight.

I'm still not comfortable with my weight today, but I won't let other people's judgement and words get to me. I had the time to ponder on why I gave so much consideration to other people's opinions about me, and I realized that some might be battling their own insecurities. 

Now, I try not to let people's words get to me so much, and I follow a lot of body positive pages on Instagram. Seeing other women flaunting their love handles and muffin tops to the world gives me the confidence I was looking to receive from the people that were body shaming me. 

If you are having issues with body weight and insecurities, try not to dwell to much on other people's opinions. I know it's hard to try and lose weight, trust me, I've been trying for about six years now. Talk to someone who is generally positive, and if you can't think of anyone, then by all means you can reach out to me; we can figure it out together.